Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
General
What do the initials CSJ mean?
Why are you called Sisters of St. Joseph?
What is the difference between a Sister of
St. Joseph and other Sisters?
What are the vows?
What is discernment?
What is the "Vow of Poverty"?
Vocation
Is it hard being
a sister?
In what kind
of ministries or jobs might you find a Sister of St. Joseph?
Do Sisters get paid?
Do sisters retire?
What are some signs
that I might have a vocation to religious life?
How will I know if I am called to be a
Sister of St. Joseph?
How old do I have to be to enter Religious
Life?
Can a lesbian be accepted into a congregation
and become a sister?
How could I arrange
to talk to a Sister of St. Joseph?
Why do some sisters leave religious life
after many years?
Relationships
Can sisters date?
Can sisters have male friendships?
Do sisters ever regret not being married
or having children?
Do Sisters ever argue?
Daily Life
How important is prayer in the life of
a Sister?
General
What do the initials CSJ mean?
CSJ stands for "Congregation of St. Joseph". All
religious congregations have initials that designate what
group they belong to ... a short form that is recognizable
to the groups that know them. The Sisters of St. Joseph around
the world tend to use CSJ or SSJ for the "Sisters of
St. Joseph" to indicate who we are.
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Why are you called Sisters of St. Joseph?
Our name, Sisters of St. Joseph, reminds us to serve others
with loving care and concern, as Joseph served Jesus and Mary.
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What is the difference between a Sister of St. Joseph and
other Sisters?
All religious communities of women share certain characteristics:
to live simply, remain celibate, make important decisions
interdependently; to make prayer and contemplation a significant
part of every day; to engage in some work (or ministry) that
addresses the needs of other people.
Sisters of St. Joseph freely respond to the call of the
Holy Spirit to lead a life dedicated to the love of God, to
continual growth in Christ and to the service of the neighbour.
Our mission is to strive for unity and reconciliation so that
all persons may come to know God's inclusive love. We make
public vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. We are an
active community in contrast to some communities that are
contemplative or monastic.
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What are the vows?
A vow is a sacred promise or commitment made freely and
publicly with the approval of the Church.
Most religious take three vows: poverty, chastity and obedience.
Poverty is a commitment to share not only one’s possessions,
but also our time, talents and presence. Poverty challenges
us to live simply in joyful dependence on God, standing in
solidarity with the poor and challenging the structures that
oppress.
Obedience comes from the Latin word, obedire, which means
“to listen.” We are called to listen as a community
to the voice of God as we hear it through the Word of God
and in the signs of the times in events and society. We also
discern our choices through the Church’s teaching and
tradition, to see where we are being called and what we are
being called to. Being obedient therefore means to be prayerful.
Chastity is the promise to love wholeheartedly all God’s
people. This vow calls us to be warm, loving, vibrant people.
Free of married commitments and other exclusive relationships
we are open and ready to love the unlovable, to go anywhere,
ready to love any person. Chastity calls me to pledge my love
to Jesus totally in order to love other people.
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What is discernment?
To
"discern" means literally to sort out, to sift...one
of those basic things we learned in kindergarten! Sitting
in the schoolyard we would take that plastic sifter and shake
the sand keeping the larger pieces in the pan while the finer
grains would fall through. The big pieces were sometimes
sticks or leaves or larger pebbles and even rocks. The
sand that fell through was smoother and softer than when it
went through the process. Both components were important...you
could decorate your sand castle with the lovely chunks left,
and your walls could be firmer and more uniform for the fine
material you had used.
Discernment
is the same thing, using the gifts we have had since birth,
we listen deeply to what God is saying in our lives, and so
we can sift and sort what we must do to be happy. That
deep listening is what we believe to be prayer. It does
require a "sifter" though, for this prayer is not
the usual way we go through our prayers...saying 'em, listing
'em, praising Him...this is stillness, all the shaking and
moving around of the day, to that moment where we can really
see, and listen, and sense deeply what God has left for us
to determine.
Discernment
is always a choice between two good things...a choice between
bad and good is not a choice at all! But with the sifting
of discernment we have the tool to see the finer silt from
the treasures in the tray. And then seeing them clearly,
perhaps for the first time, we can choose which will make
us most happy. Either way, God will smile broadly at
our efforts...for God can make castles out of sand and jewels
out of sticks...we know it...we've done it too!!
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What is the "Vow of Poverty"?
This really is not well named. Religious sisters are not
"poor"... poverty is a social evil, that we all
strive to eliminate with our Christian lifestyle. In fact,
our vow is more the vow to "share" and to live "simply".
By living in a religious congregation, Sisters do not own
anything outright as married and single people do. It is all
held in common, as the first disciples did in the Acts of
the Apostles (Acts 4: 34). Thus personal bank accounts, capital
expenses, homes, and cars are all dealt with through the Congregation's
central administration. One Sister is usually appointed the
Treasurer and she oversees all the "goods" of the
Congregation.
This sharing is meant to free us from a consumer age, that
states clearly "you are what you own...buy more so you
can be more". We strive to live a countercultural stance,
where we have what we need, not what we always want and are
freed to do ministry as a result!
The "simple living" is based upon the same principle...personal
budgets are set for a Sister's own spending for the year (clothing,
dinners out, long distance phone calls to friends, toiletry
items, etc.)...I overspent my personal budget last year, so
this year I "upped" it. For 2004, I budgeted $2000
(one of the girls in high school I spoke to this spring almost
fell out of her desk; she'd spent that last weekend on her
graduation dress!!). Simple living, freedom from "stuff",
freedom to serve. The vow of poverty!
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Vocation
Is it hard being a sister?
We are sisters because we find joy in our vocation to be
a Sister of St. Joseph. At times, there are difficulties in
our life, just as there are in any life. We have lots of opportunity
when we become a sister to see if we as individuals find it
hard to be a sister. If we find such aspects of our life as
celibacy and making decisions in dialogue with the community
do not enable us to feel more free but rather are very difficult
for us, this is probably not our vocation. We can then choose
to search for another path before committing to final vows.
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In what kind of ministries or jobs might you find a Sister
of St. Joseph?
Sisters of St. Joseph live and work that all people may
be united with God and one another. To bring about this unity,
we search out and undertake whatever works may show forth
the glory of God.
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Some Sisters teach in educational institutions from
pre-school to university levels.
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Some staff and administer hospitals and a broad range
of health care facilities and programs.
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Some guide other persons seeking spiritual guidance
and support in retreat centres, houses of prayer, and
parish settings.
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Some Sisters serve at the local level providing substance
abuse prevention and recovery, housing, counselling and
outreach services to refugees, the homeless and service
to physically and mentally challenged persons, just to
name a few.
-
Some Sisters work with local and national organizations
advocating for systemic change to improve the lives of
people around the world whose rights and opportunities
are compromised.
- Some, who are no longer able to serve in full-time ministries,
support those who can in prayer and as volunteers.
For more information about
what Sisters of St. Joseph do, go to Ministries.
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Do Sisters get paid?
Just as parents are not paid for their role as parent, Sisters
are not paid to be Sisters. Some of us are involved in ministry
(work) for which we receive a salary, i.e. as teachers we
receive a salary based on our qualifications just like other
teachers.
In keeping with the vow of poverty (sharing all our goods
in common) we give our salary back to the community in order
to provide for the material needs of all our Sisters and to
support those of us who are engaged in ministry for which
no remuneration is given.
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Do sisters retire?
As women who have dedicated their lives to reaching out
to those in need Sisters cannot stop being God’s instrument
at a certain age. While they often retire at sixty five from
their professional ministry (work) they continue to be people
for others but in new and different ways.
Keeping in mind their health and their past expereince,
they now find novel ways of responding to their ‘dear
neighbour’. Some Sisters who have limited physical abilities
engage in phone ministry. This provides contact as well as
support for people experiencing difficulties in their life.
Others develop ways to help people in developing countries.
For example one sister, at the age of seventy five started
to collect clothes, office materials, and medical supplies
for people in Haiti. Before long she had to look for larger
storage space. Another at age ninety two is making cards from
used greeting cards and sends the money from their sale to
a developing country. Older Sisters can become spiritual mentors
for young people. Some Sisters spend time visiting their own
Sisters who are receving nursing care.
Retirement is not only ‘doing’ but also ‘being’.
Sisters now can discover new ways of being with the Lord in
prayer and solitude. During their wisdom years Sisters often
uncover hidden talents that are now given time to surface.
These can include art, poetry, or music.
While most Sisters as they age experience diminishment they
continue to see how they can minister to the people of God.
Retirement is not so much looking at what a Sister can no
longer do but retirement is an opportunity to look at what
is now possible.
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What are some signs that I might have a vocation to religious
life?
- A love for the Catholic faith
- A healthy self-image
- A generous heart
- A sincere respect for other people
- A personal relationship with God
- A capacity and desire to learn
- The courage to take risks
- Good social skills
- Ability to work with other people
- Ability to enjoy one's own company and a variety of relationships
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How will I know if I am called to be a Sister of St. Joseph?
Personal contact is the best way. Set up an appointment
with the Vocation Director and spend some time with her. Be
prepared to talk about yourself. Ask her if it is possible
to meet members of the community to pray, eat and socialize
with them.
After several visits take some time to reflect on what happened.
Ask yourself if this is where you could be your most authentic
self, where you would be most at home.
Contact a vocation
director
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How old do I have to be to enter Religious Life?
Many Religious Communities encourage potential candidates
to complete secondary school then to work for a couple of
years or to continue their education before entering a religious
community.Ê Some Communities have a specific age limit while
others make decision based on each individual.
During this time of work or study it is good to be connected
with a religious community.Ê It is also advisable to have
a spiritual advisor or mentor who can assist one in the ongoing
discernment of their call to religious life.
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Can a lesbian be accepted into a congregation and become
a sister?
Yes, most congregations today would accept a woman with
this orientation provided that she can live a life of chastity,
the same as what is expected of a woman who is heterosexual.
Obviously the challenges associated with a same-sex orientation
are significant and the candidate would need to face them
honestly. Arriving at peaceful ownership of sexual orientation,
be it homosexual or heterosexual, is necessary for everyone.
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How could I arrange to talk to a Sister of St. Joseph?
If you wish to talk with a Sister of St. Joseph it can be
as simple as clicking on to one of the links on this web site
which will connect you to one of the six Congregations of
Sisters of St. Joseph in Canada. The email address and phone
number of each Congregation's Vocation
Director is listed. She would be more than happy to speak
with you, attempt to answer any questions you might have and
connect you with a Sister in your area if this is possible.
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Why do some sisters leave religious life after many years?
In discerning our call to religious life, we make every
effort to listen to where we can best live out with joy our
baptismal commitment to follow Jesus in love. Every life has
its struggles and difficult times. If these times persist
beyond life’s normal challenges, a sister may question
if this is where God wants her to be. We know that God desires
peace and happiness for us. It sometimes happens, as it does
in marriage, that one comes to the realization that there
is little hope that the vocation chosen will again bring joy
and peace. If a sister has sought help through counselling
and/or spiritual direction and prayer, she sometimes comes
to a decision that remaining in religious life is no longer
able to bring her closer to God and the people of God she
desires to serve. The sister may apply for a dispensation
from her vows.
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Relationships
Can sisters date?
Sisters would not date in the ordinary sense of that term.
Why? Simply because we are not looking for a relationship
that could lead to marriage or some other form of commitment
apart from our religious vows. Our vow of chastity says that
we are committed to the People of God in a way that precludes
any other. This vow is meant to free us for ministry, but
even more importantly, it says that Jesus is "enough"
for us. Our commitment to the church and the mission of Jesus
Christ occupies our time.
That does not mean that we do not take relationships with
friends seriously, even friends of the opposite sex. Healthy
relationships call for a level of intimacy where we can share
our passion for life and our desire for wholeness in creation.
When we can share our dreams and hopes, our fears, doubts
and concerns, we are revealing the intimate side of ourselves.
In doing this, we grow, and possibly help others to grow as
well. Spiritual growth is closely linked to emotional and
social growth. Friends help us to understand ourselves and
help us to cope with the disappointments and challenges we
face in our everyday lives. When we experience a loving and
forgiving relationship, we experience the face of God, and
we grow. We get to know ourselves better, our friend, and
God.
So, sisters do not date, but we enjoy the company of others,
male and female. We experience tenderness and compassion,
and can in turn live that in other relationships. God has
blessed us with the capacity for friendship. If we enjoy a
movie or dinner with a friend, to the world that could look
like a date; but its simply spending quality time with a friend,
renewing and sustaining friendship, and sharing in God’s
gift of listening and celebration.
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Can sisters have male friendships?
Yes, most definitely, and if you don’t have such friendships,
the quality of your life and growth may be diminished. God
has created us, male and female, and should we forego marriage
to embrace the vow of celibacy, we still need intimate relationships
of both genders. Friendships give us an "ear" for
our problems and doubts; they help to make life more meaningful.
They will never take away the loneliness of the human condition
(which marriage does not remove either), but help us to live
and celebrate life.
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Do sisters ever regret not being married or having children?
I suspect that at times many of us have "second thoughts"
about our choice to live a celibate lifestyle and therefore
forego the privilege of having children and grandchildren!
Because we are women, many of us would possibly have chosen
marriage if not for the conviction of being called to another
lifestyle. We are not "anti-men" or "anti-child,"
but have felt God calling us to another way of life: to serve
the church and the world as a woman religious.
If doubts or deep feelings of regret were to persist, we
would need to look at them seriously and address that aspect
of our lives. The choice for celibacy and religious life requires
ongoing discernment; it is not a "once-and-for-all-time"
choice, but a daily choosing of God’s call. God calls
everyone in some way- no calling is preferable to another;
so it is important that one discern the direction God calls
one to in prayer. The choice for celibacy must fit with our
personality and personal needs and desires. It is a choice
lived over a lifetime, and whereas we can look longingly (but
fleetingly) after a smiling baby, we can know in our "heart-of
hearts" that our call is to be single and open to the
goodness and freshness of life through an expansive and inclusive
love for all. We do not have our own specific family (except
for our birth family), but the whole church and world is our
family.
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Do Sisters ever argue?
Yes, we are human, sometimes we have strong opinions, and
want to express that opinion and have it be heard. It’s
not a bad thing to argue; it’s not a good attribute to
be a poor listener. The quality of listening needs to be equal
to the ability to speak one’s opinion. Hopefully sisters
would not come "to blows" while expressing opinions,
but would speak their truth respectfully and with consideration
for the recipient of their truth.
When a person argues, it may be because they feel strongly
about a certain issue. Its good to have opinions and the ability
to express those opinions with sincerity, and even some passion!
It shows a person with a lively interest in life and a commitment
to that interest. So, do sisters ever argue? Yes, probably;
but hopefully also with an ability to listen profoundly and
to speak their truth with honesty and sincerity.
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Daily Life
How important is prayer in the life of a Sister?
It is essential to our way of life. Prayer is the line of
communication we use to develop and deepen our relationship
with Jesus. It also allows us the time to listen to what God
has to say to us.
Each sister makes an effort to devote a substantial amount
of time each day for personal prayer. This is the time when
we can take a break from the hurried pace of everyday life
and be alone with God. Neglecting this part of our life with
Christ would in the long run weaken our religious life.
We also value the experience of praying together each morning
and evening the Prayer of the Church known also as the Liturgy
of the Hours or the Divine Office. Because this is the common
prayer of the church, when we pray it together we are more
closely united with our brothers and sisters and the needs
of the world
Sisters attend daily Eucharist as well as Sunday Mass in
order to be nourished by the word of God. The core of our
life is centered in this meeting with Jesus in the Eucharist.
Some communities of sisters gather periodically for an informal
sharing of the “State of the Heart” also known as
faith sharing. The focal point can be the scriptures, a personal
reflection, or a discussion about our life journey at a particular
moment. It is an opportunity for us to share a struggle, a
joy or an event or how God is speaking to us personally. This
way of talking together deepens our appreciation and understanding
of the way God works and is present in our lives.
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